Count...by each .... !!

Now I am retire. Times before and after the "H day" I undergo very intensive wrestle even after a year later, perhaps it is what peoples said : post power syndrom - which actually much math to big peoples as Army General, high grade official, ministers etc., and not for ordinary people like me. But it really happened to me ! I even change my principle in life that life is for good mission, we are a kind of God ambasador ... then at this conflict within and exhaustedly I change my principle in life that the question about life must NOT "what for does your life ?" and the TRUE must be "HOW does your life, how is life, How does life ?! Meant that I tent to trust to hedonism ... It is because I failed prepare my post retirement periode, let say a certain routin and productive activities. Before the "H day" I strived hard to get postphonement and after the "H day" I tried hard to make my days productive meant make money as usual. Useless !!! I loose a lot money, frustration before finally surender. Desperate and depressed brought me to contemplate with my total spiritual, mental and emotional wrestle.

I don't know it was very simple way that in the morning while I was browsing I sing :"Count your bless each by each .... you'll know the sum later ....." I got at Office prayer community which consist of all Christian sects, Catholic, Protestant and also Pentakosta worshipers. Now I am RE-AWARED I was born naked, departed to Jakarta with nothing except my couples clothes, even when I was student I always drained after the 15th day each month, untill my fist job for years !

Now I stay at not too bad home with more than 300m2 landscape with wonderful wife and two adult children and nice neighbourhood ..... there is not new car but still very good to ride, two funny dogs .... count, by each your bless, and you will know the sum later .... Halleluya...thanks to God, please forgive me ..... for my not gratefulness .....